Download E-books Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl PDF

By Susan McCorkindale

A laugh-out-loud memoir a few urban slicker who discovers that Manolos and manure simply don?t mix.

At her husband?s prompting, suburban mother and long island profession lady Susan McCorkindale agreed to renounce her demanding six-figure task. jointly, they headed down south to a 500-acre pork farm, and not regarded again. good, he didn?t glance again. She did. A lot.

From taking part in ?spot the spiritual billboard? at the force to rural Virginia, to adapting to a global with no Starbucks, to making plans bright-orange hunter-resistant wardrobes for the children (?We moved the following to escape from the insanity of long island merely to threat getting popped on our personal property?), this is often her hilarious account of the way a urban woman got here to love?or at the very least tolerate?country existence.

Show description

Read or Download Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl PDF

Similar Memoir books

Service Included: Four-Star Secrets of an Eavesdropping Waiter

Caution: might include fabric offensive to vegans, pharmaceutical lobbyists, and people on a low-sodium nutrition. Animals have been harmed in the course of the writing of this e-book. whereas Phoebe Damrosch used to be watching for lifestyles to occur, she supported herself through operating as a waitress. prior to lengthy she was once the one girl captain on the four-star ny urban eating place in keeping with Se in the course of its first 12 months.

Communion: A True Story

Hence starts the main awesome true-life odyssey ever recorded—one man's riveting account of his amazing stories with viewers from “elsewhere” . . . how they discovered him, the place they took him, what they did to him, and why. think it. Or don't think it. yet learn it—for this gripping tale will stream you're keen on no different.

The Friedkin Connection: A Memoir

The long-awaited memoir from the Academy Award–winning director of such mythical motion pictures because the French Connection, The Exorcist, and To stay and Die in l. a., The Friedkin Connection takes readers from the streets of Chicago to the suites of Hollywood and from the sixties to this present day, with autobiographical storytelling as fast moving and excessive as any of the auteur's movies.

The Magical Stranger: A Son's Journey into His Father's Life

The paranormal Stranger is a relocating tale of affection and sacrifice, fathers and sons, heroism and responsibility, infantrymen and the households they depart at the back of. On November 28, 1979, squadron commander and army pilot Peter Rodrick died while his airplane crashed within the Indian Ocean, abandoning a devastated spouse, daughters, and a 13-year-old son.

Additional resources for Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl

Show sample text content

And groundhogs. And foxes. And horses. And hens. At any given second i will glance out my lounge window and trap a few member of the animal nation piddling in my entrance pasture. I can’t inform you how this pisses me off (pardon the pun). Why can’t they discover a great inner most spot, like by way of a tree, at the back of the springhouse, or close to the aspect of the barn, to do their enterprise? Why do they should deal with me to it? Do they believe I’m a few kind of bizarre fan of flora and fauna physically features? And if that’s now not undesirable adequate, my sons have got the influence that they can also tinkle anywhere they please. the place did they get this nice “act like a man” concept? From their pricey outdated dad, Hemingway, who now has them utilizing the farm like a mall-size men’s room. He thinks I may be chuffed approximately this, and perhaps he has some extent. finally, it’s approximately very unlikely to get them to pee into the bathroom bowl. As I see it, it’s a three-step, failsafe formulation. One, stand in entrance of the lavatory. , target. and 3, fire—pee, urinate, tinkle, twinkle, whiz—into the water. It’s step 3 that my young children pass, and I’m nearly optimistic it’s on objective. i believe Cuyler fancies himself a bit “pee-pee Picasso. ” a hundred and forty For starters, he's taking eternally within the john. Then whilst he comes out he leaves the sunshine on, understanding I’ll cross in to show it off and become aware of the complicated tinkle designs that bedeck the rim of the bowl. What’s a mom to do? good, this one’s been identified to tug her little man by way of the ear again to his “easel,” hand him a few paper towels and a bottle of Fantastik, and say, “Scrub! ” Sound harsh? attempt heartbreaking, fairly while my mischievous Monet wails, “But, mother, it appears to be like so lovely, and that i made it only for you! ” You made extra paintings for me, you little bugger. yet okay, you win. Let’s seize the digital camera, trap this beneficial second, and do what all stable mothers do for his or her budding artists, it doesn't matter what their most well-liked medium: discover a spot at the refrigerator for his or her paintings. Casey skips step 3 additionally. okay, I’ll be sincere. He doesn’t even consider there's a step 3. His adolescent mind is all over the place however the toilet. whereas he’s status over the bathroom, he’s rationale in simple terms on his photo within the full-length replicate in entrance of him. this may be a great time to inform you that, in Nate’s position, the lavatory faces clear of a replicate that runs the size of the wall within the toilet. So if you’re status and you’ve acquired the lavatory seat up141 you’ve obtained a superb view of your higher physique and 90 percentage of your decrease physique. 142 So there’s my good-looking child, relieving himself and taking within the view. by surprise he sees a facial hair—his first—and leans in with the rate of a working again barreling downfield with the ball for a better glance. Urine flies far and wide, soaking the again of the bowl and dribbling all the way down to the ground. via his ft. On his ft. Does he realize? Don’t child your self, humans. All he cares approximately is the wisp of a whisker he’s sprouted and the way quickly he can get to the telephone to inform his neighbors. which might be wonderful other than that, as he’s operating from the rest room to his backpack to get his cellphone, he’s nonetheless peeing.

Rated 4.38 of 5 – based on 32 votes