Download E-books Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns PDF

By Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson

In case you imagine the wildest, wackiest tales that Carl Hiaasen can inform have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, re-examine. Dance of the Reptiles collects the simplest of Hiaasen's Miami Herald columns, which lay naked the stories—large and small—that display anew that fact is much stranger than fiction.

Hiaasen bargains his commentary—indignant, disbelieving, occasionally righteously offended, and regularly hilarious—on burning matters like animal welfare, polluted rivers, and the damaged felony justice method in addition to the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, Bernie Madoff's trial, and the shenanigans of the hot presidential elections. even if you will have learn Carl Hiaasen sooner than, you're in for a wild experience.

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Read Online or Download Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns PDF

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Final analysis is that we’ve had huge, immense successes, and we'll proceed to have huge, immense successes,” he stated. There are a number of attainable reasons for the vice president’s extraordinary functionality: He’s loopy as a loon. He’s a compulsive liar. He’s gotten his prescriptions combined up with Rush Limbaugh’s. regardless of the scientific cause will be, Cheney maintains to drift blissfully via a conceited and surreal fog. “The strain is from a few quarters to get out of Iraq,” he acknowledged. “If we have been to do this, we easily validate the terrorists’ approach that says the american citizens won't remain to accomplish the duty, that we don’t have the tummy for the struggle. ” Oddly, Cheney’s stout urge for food for conflict by no means manifested itself whilst he was once of draft age, in the course of the Vietnam conflict. 5 occasions he declined his country’s name to serve there. Now, because the final cheerleader for the fiasco in Iraq, Cheney revels within the self-imagined function of difficult man. actually, he's easily the fellow Who’s by no means Been correct. prior to, in the course of, and after the invasion, it was once Cheney who so much strenuously promoted the fiction of Saddam Hussein’s stockpile of guns of mass destruction. It was once Cheney who insisted there has been a hyperlink among Hussein and Al Qaeda’s Sept. 11 coconspirators, lengthy after U. S. intelligence businesses had discredited the belief. It was once additionally Cheney who envisioned that American infantrymen will be welcomed as “liberators” at the streets the place they're now being blown up. And it was once he who in 2005 optimistically asserted that the insurgency was once in its “last throes. ” with regards to Iraq, the vp has been uncannily flawed approximately every little thing, but he seldom bypasses a chance to play the pompous stooge. listed here are a few actual statements that you're going to by no means pay attention from Cheney’s lips: The struggle has up to now fee American taxpayers at the very least $500 billion, or 10 instances greater than the administration’s preliminary estimate. The strive against toll on our army now exceeds 3,065 useless and greater than 22,000 wounded, many completely disabled. not anyone is certain what number Iraqi civilians have perished because the invasion, yet no less than 34,000 are recognized to have died in 2006. approximately million Iraqis have fled the rustic to flee the ongoing violence. Osama bin weighted down, the guy who green-lighted the 11th of September assaults, continues to be alive and free—and he’s now not hiding in Iraq. in the meantime, the Taliban combatants who harbored Osama and his cohorts in Afghanistan are resurging with a vengeance. And the subsequent murderous iteration of Al Qaeda enthusiasts has a brand new outpost of operations, a spot the place they have been unwelcome for years. It’s referred to as Iraq. this can be the fact that the vp would like now not be mentioned, less mentioned overtly. clearly, he blames the media for turning the general public opposed to the conflict, a trick borrowed from the outdated Vietnam hard-liners. good day, what approximately all these markets in Baghdad that weren’t car-bombed final week? How come you men don’t write approximately them? with no cracking a grin, Cheney advised Blitzer that “the global is way more secure this present day” simply because Bush took army motion opposed to Iraq.

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