Download E-books Island of the Sequined Love Nun PDF

By Christopher Moore

Take a superbly crazed expedition into the demented center of a tropical paradise—a international of shipment cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and conversing fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a funky guy's physique, who makes a residing as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics company. but if he demolishes his boss's red airplane in the course of a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck needs to run for his existence from Mary Jean's goons. Now there is just one employment chance left for him: piloting shady mystery missions for an unscrupulous clinical missionary and a gorgeous blond excessive priestess at the remotest of Micronesian hells. here's a brazen, creative, irreverent, and wickedly humorous novel from a contemporary grasp of the outrageous.

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Jake Skye was once peering over the door into the stall the place Tucker used to be getting ready to take away his bandages and, ultimately, the catheter. A line of businessmen washed their palms at a line of toilets whereas attempting to not realize what used to be happening at the back of them within the stall. “Just yank it,” Jake Skye acknowledged. “Give me a minute. i feel they tied a knot inside of it. ” “Don’t be a wuss, Tucker. Yank it. ” The businessmen on the sinks exchanged raised eyebrows and one after the other broke for the lavatory door. Jake acknowledged, “I’m going to provide you to 5, then I’m coming over the stall and yanking it for you. One, two…” A rodeo cowboy on the urinals hitched up his Wranglers, pulled his hat down, and made a bowlegged beeline for the door to get on a aircraft to somewhere the place this kind of factor didn’t occur. “Five! ” protection guards rushed in the course of the terminal towards the screaming. an individual was once being murdered within the men’s room they usually have been in charge. They burst into the lavatory with weapons drawn. Jake Skye was once coiling up a few tubing via the sinks. there has been whimpering coming from one of many stalls. “Everything’s positive, officers,” Jake stated. “My friend’s a bit disillusioned. He simply discovered that his mom died. ” “My mother’s now not useless! ” Tucker acknowledged from the stall. “He’s in denial,” Jake whispered to the guards. “Here, you larger takes this. ” He passed the tubing to at least one of the guards. “We don’t wish him placing himself in grief. ” Ten mins later, after condolences from the protection employees, they sat within the departure living room consuming gin and tonics, watching for Tuck’s boarding name. round them, a rating of guys and ladies in matches fired out telephone calls on cellphones whereas twenty extra played an impromptu puppy pile on the bar, attempting to occupy the minuscule smoking quarter. Jake Skye was once cataloging the contents of the pack he’d given to Tuck. Tucker wasn’t listening. He used to be crushed with the rate with which his existence had long gone to shit, and he used to be desperately attempting to variety it out. Jake’s voice used to be misplaced like kazoo sounds in a wind tunnel. Jake droned, “The range will run on something: diesel, jet gasoline, fuel, even vodka. There’s a masks, fins, and snorkel, and a pair of water resistant flashlights. ” The task with Mary Jean were excellent. a unique urban each few days, great inns, an price account, and actually hundreds of thousands of earnest Mary Jean women to indulge him. and so they did, one or at every one conference. encouraged through Mary Jean’s speeches on self-determination, motivation, and the way they too can be a winner, they sought Tucker out to have their one adventurous affair with a jet pilot. and since regardless of what number occasions it occurred, he was once continuously a bit of stunned by means of their advances, Tucker performed an element. He behaved like a guy torn from the canopy of a few steamy romance novel: the captivating rogue, the passionate pirate who may, come morning, take his send to sea for God, Queen, and state. after all, often, someday sooner than morning, the ladies may notice that below the graceful, gin-painted external was once a man who sniffed his shorts to examine their wearability.

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