By Drew Magary
A sharp, humorous, and heartfelt memoir approximately fatherhood and the ups and downs of elevating a family members in smooth America
No one writes approximately kin particularly like Drew Magary. In Someone may possibly Get Hurt, he displays on his personal parenting reviews to discover the anxiousness, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that include elevating children.
In brutally sincere and humorous tales, Magary finds how American mom and dad do something about being in over their heads—from getting inebriated whereas trick-or-treating and telling soiled jokes to make bathtub time cross easily to committing petty vandalism to bond with a five-year-old.
Someone might Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt examine baby rearing with a glimpse into the real love and compassion that accompany the missteps and unsuitable common sense. It’s the tale of head lice, almost-dirty phrases, flat head syndrome, and a guy attempting to devote the final word act of selflessness in a egocentric international.
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Additional resources for Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood
Instead of, GET THAT FUCKING HELMET OFF MY child. I checked out my son and thought of what a helmet may appear like on him. i presumed approximately all of the seems he’d get. we are living in an age of outstanding sensitivity, the place different mom and dad visit nice lengths to seem tolerant and accepting of ALL little ones, now not in simple terms their very own. yet deep down, we’re simply as judgmental and catty a species as we have been a long time in the past. The patina of niceness nearly makes it worse. i presumed approximately different mom and dad the boy—and he used to be any such attractive, delicate little boy—saying whatever great approximately his race vehicle helmet, after which going domestic and spitting out their genuine emotions. That negative Magary boy, crawling round with a helmet on. i ponder if they’ll need to tether him to a put up within the backyard. We drove the boy downtown to the massive children’s health facility and the foyer was once full of teenagers in wheelchairs, young children balding from chemo, and diverse different light teenagers with sickly eyes. It used to be like being inside of each public carrier statement ever created. i needed to cry my eyes out after taking 3 steps inside of. The health center itself used to be a masterpiece of future health care forms. they'd a primary reception table that despatched you to a different reception table that despatched you to a 3rd reception table. The elevator had a button for the third-and-a-half ground. i needed to push it simply to see if ground three. five contained a mystery tunnel into the mind of John Malkovich. After spending a long time navigating the labyrinth, we arrived on the neurologist’s workplace. He ran his arms over my son’s skull—just like a 3rd Reich phrenologist may! —and played a sequence of psychological assessments on him. He snapped his palms to at least one aspect of the boy’s face and the boy’s eyes undefined. Ditto the other part. He checked the boy’s ears. He pulled at the boy’s fingers. Then he became to us. “Well, his head is a piece flat within the again. however the excellent news is that his psychological schools appear simply superb. He’s no longer retarded or whatever. ” I swear, he used the observe “retarded. ” I didn’t even recognize retardation used to be at the desk prior to he pointed out it. “You will need to take into consideration outfitting him in a helmet,” he stated. “Does he actually need one? ” I requested. “He’s borderline. yet you'll want to make a decision fast simply because after a definite variety of weeks, the bones set and the skull’s form is irreversible. ” “But he wouldn’t need to put on it for extraordinarily lengthy, correct? ” “Actually, the overall guide is 3 to 6 months. ” “Oh Jesus. ” We left the doctor’s workplace. “Can you suspect he really stated ‘retarded’? ” my spouse requested me. “I comprehend! i'm wondering if he intended it medically. He appeared so informal approximately retardation. ” “Do you're thinking that we should always get the helmet? ” I had no notion. I checked out my son and his head seemed high-quality to me. ears. eyes. A mouth. A chin. It used to be a superbly appropriate head. i assumed approximately what a massive soreness within the ass the helmet will be if we selected to shop for one. Twenty-three hours an afternoon. a number of months. God is familiar with if the boy will be in a position to sleep with that factor on.