Has your Suburban or Expedition gotten too small for you, or have the Jones' just one-upped you once again with a new Excursion? If you thought that so-called "large" SUVs like the Expedition have a tough look, then you need to check out the new Kenworth Pilgrimage! Now featuring quality Firestone tires to make piloting the Pilgrimage a more exciting experience!* Presenting the 2003 Kenworth Pilgrimage, the SUV of the future, today:
We buy Kenworth semi chassis and build SUVs on them. Shown is the Dominator model, which includes the eight rear wheels for handling those trips to Sam's Club.
- Fits under MOST bridge underpasses.
- The first SUV to be rated in Gallons per Mile by the EPA.
- Meet interesting people while waiting in line at Interstate Weigh Stations.
- When kids do the arm signal, you get to honk that really cool air horn!
- Get a big rush when your Firestone tires blow out.
- Lots of road-hugging weight for occupant protection, the ULTIMATE in safety.
- Can seat 20. Go ahead, take the WHOLE soccer team.
- Can tow your camper, yacht, a trailer-load of frozen pizzas, or even your house!
- Yours for under $200,000 ($100,000 for truck chassis + $100,000 standard SUV markup).
- Traildodger - two wheel drive model, our best seller.
- Eliminator - our Sport model - includes a 900hp quad-turbo 12-cylinder Cummins Diesel engine, previously only available in merchant barges. Built to resemble those oh-so-groovy custom vans of the 70's.
- Dominator - Who else can boast ten-wheel-drive and eight tons of road-hugging, occupant-protecting mass?
- The Grand Dominator (pictured below) - The ultimate SUV- Adds extra high roof/cathedral ceilings, power expandable sides, full lavatory, four cell-phones, white leather interior with lambswool carpets, TV/VCR/Nintendo 64, Sony DSS satellite, beer cooler (go ahead, drive drunk, nothing's gonna kill you in this thing!), and a permanent cellular link to the internet.
Salvaged from the now defunct poseur.4x4.org. This was a lot funnier before International released the CXT in 2004.