Month: April 2011

Since today is Earth Day, the following video appeared on the weather channel. The Treadmill Bike was featured among an interesting assortment of Green Gadgets. And to think I was this close to selling half a million of these to the former Prime-Minister of Cameroon!

Continued from part 4… On Monday, October 19, 2009 I responded to Kwella Samson (Barrister/Solicitor). As per Chief Simon’s earlier request, I made a point of assuring Kwella Samson that Chief Simon Ngwa Achu had absolutely no involvement in my business venture.

Thank you for writing back Kwella! I’m not sure whether to go for a basic registered company or an ordinary registered company. The vision for my business is to run tours of Waza National Park on pedal powered couches. Clients would pedal their couches through the park, petting and feeding whatever animals they encounter along the way. The tours would run all day and would feature a delicious hot dog lunch.

In the rainy season, I would strive to promote healthy, environmentally friendly transportation to the Cameroonian population by importing and selling Treadmill Bikes.

If you could advise me on whether to choose a basic or ordinary registration for my company, that would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I have plans to travel to Cameroon in the near future. I think I may have the opportunity to meet Chief Simon Achu who served as the Prime Minister of Cameroon from 1992 to 1996. I should emphasize that Chief Simon has no involvement whatsoever in my business enterprise. However, as he is currently the traditional ruler of his village and a very busy man, I would like to present him with a gift to show my appreciation for his time with me. Can you think of an appropriate gift that I might present to him? If you’re thinking a gold plated tricycle, I should tell you I’ve already thought of that, but it didn’t work out very well. Any other suggestions would be welcome.

I heard back the next day.

Dear Sir,

Thank for your mail.

In this case I will advise you to register an ordinary company and provide the bellow requirement for us to proceed.
1. The name you want to use for the company.
2. Particulars: The particulars of the shareholders if you have partners.
3. Duration: The number of years you want to run the company.
4. The 10% of your share capital.
5. The registered office address: You have to provide us with an address where your office will be located If you already have one, but if not let us know if we can use our office address or we should organize one for you.
7. Agreement signed by shareholders to form a company, if the company is owned by many parties. But if not, scan and send to us a letter signed by you authorizing us to make the registration on your behalf.
8. The attestation from a bank: we need an attestation from a bank testifying that the share capital is deposited with the bank. But if you have no bank account in Cameroon we can help you provide the attestation since it does not cost money.
9. 65,000frs CFA (100 Euro equivalent) for stamp duty.
10. 300 Euro for our administrative fee

Cameroon is a peaceful country and the people of Cameroon are very kind and welcoming. As a traditional ruler like Chief Achu and a well respectable person in this country of Cameroon, I will advise you to bring any type of gift since nothing are too small and nothing is too big, I am sure as a humble man like him he will accept and value anything you will give to him.

Otherwise you can still ask him what he will like you to bring for him but I don’t think it’s a better idea.

We wait for your prompt reply and we look forward to be meeting you in Cameroon.

Thanks,
Kwella Samson (Barrister/Solicitor)
(Senior Managing Partner)
KWELLA CHAM.
66 Avenue Lonkam, B.P.4008 Bafoussam.
Région de L’Ouest, Cameroun
Tel: +237 942 943 85
Fax +237 330 279 15
E-mail: kwellacham@hotmail.co.uk

Needless to say, I wasn’t too keen on forking over the 400 Euros just to keep up this ruse. Kwella, for his part, was doing a pretty good job of handling my ridiculous questions with the diplomacy of an actual lawyer. A few weeks went by that I was too preoccupied with actual work to spend any time on this escapade.

Along the way, I read in the news that the actual Simon Achidi Achu was in a coma for part of the time that I was corresponding with his alter-ego. I wrote to Chief Simon to inquire about his recovery from that ordeal, but I never heard back.

In an attempt to explain my long silence to Kwella Samson, I went with the most probable explanation.

Hello Kwella,

I just thought I would write to apologize for my recent lack of communication. I’ve attached a photo of a stunt I was attempting on my Treadmill Bike. As you might have guessed, the stunt did not go well. I fell into one of the flaming barrels and received third degree burns to 70% of my body. I’ve been in hospital ever since. However, I’ve been out for the last few days and I’m just trying to get my bearings again.

I’m concerned that I might have missed my window of opportunity on one of the business ventures I had planned for Cameroon. Therefore, I am going to hold off on registering my business until I have heard from my other contacts in Cameroon. I will let you know as soon as I have heard from them though.

It looks like Christmas is just around the corner. Is Christmas a big holiday in Cameroon? What kind of gifts might people exchange at this time of year?

Two days later, I got this reply from Kwella.

Dear Sir

Thank you for your mail and i really feel sad to hear that you had an accident,i hope that you will feel better soonest.

It is true that Christmas is fast approaching but not every body regards Christmas as an important day but Christians will obviously regard it with high esteems. Honestly i wont know what will be good as a gift but it all depends on the class of people, but there is one thing that i know that what ever gift that is given from the bottom of your heart is always considered the greatest. Just think of anything you can imagine and buy for the concern, it will be appreciated.

Regards
Kwella Samson

This was the last correspondence with any of my Cameroonian friends. While I’m sad that Treadmill Bikes will never become the utilitarian vehicle of choice in Cameroon and that I may never enjoy a delicious hot dog lunch while seated on a Couchbike surrounded by majestic lions on the African Savannah, I am glad that for a few months in 2009, I was able to share that dream with a man who claimed to be the former Prime Minister of Cameroon. Wherever you are my friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Continued from part 3… On Monday, October 5, 2009 I received the following response to my Couchbike Tours of Waza National Park proposal.

Attn: Brent,

I am really impressed over your ideas, I want you to know that we will accept any sizes of the shoes since it is a bonus package and we are not paying for it. I also feel that we are going far, like I told you that this contract will continue till lot ten, the issue of Couchbikes for Waza park will be discoursed in person that is when you will be in Cameroon for the signing of this first treadmill bike contract.

Note that I am very busy person, I am a traditional ruler in my village taking care of about six hundred thousand inhabitants coupled with my political and administrative post. I will like that we talk more about this transaction on phone than mail that will enable me save some time for my self.

The issue of using a Cameroon based company is a good idea but how far have gone with the arrangement, have you seen one? While searching or making an arrangement with any company here in Cameroon make sure that the company does not know that I having any transaction with you. Let me know about this soon as we the committee members will be having a meeting on Wednesday to discourse the date of the Bid tender.

I wait to hearing from you.

Regards,
Chief Simon Ngwa Achu.
The CPDM Congress Hall
P.O. Box 150 Bamenda, N/W Region,
Rep of Cameroon ,
Tel: +237 766 306 90
E-mail:chiefachu@gmail.com

At this point, I was amazed that Chief Simon was still going along with all this. I wondered how he could still be taking me seriously. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was trying to get out of this myself. One thing I hoped for was for Chief Simon to come out and admit that he wasn’t who he was claiming to be. It occurred to me that if I wanted to catch him in a lie, maybe I should make up a story that might have involved the former prime minister of Cameroon but actually never did. After all, it’s always easier to confirm that something did happen than to prove that something never happened. That was my thinking as I crafted my response.

Hello Chief Simon!

So you’ll need me to travel to Cameroon to sign the Treadmill Bike contract? That can definitely be arranged. As I mentioned before, I think I’ll have to do a lot of work on the ground to get my Couchbike tour company setup. I’ll need to hire staff to work as tour guides, mechanics and administrators. We’ll also need several cooks to prepare our exquisite hot dog lunches.

It will be great to meet you in Cameroon. Where is your village located? What kind of gifts should one bring when visiting a traditional ruler? I was looking online to see if I could find out a bit more about you and what your interests are so that I could bring a suitable gift. I assume that you are the Simon Achu that served as Prime Minister from 1992 to 1996. I was looking through the Internet Movie Database and learned that you also did the voice-over work for Officer McWiener in the movie Air Bud 6. I managed to find a replica of the tricycle that Officer McWiener used on eBay. I’ve put a bid in and will monitor the auction over the next few days. I’d really like to get that tricycle so that I can have it gold plated and present it to you upon my arrival in your village. I’ve attached a shot of Officer McWiener to this e-mail. I was wondering if you could tell me how they did this. Did they actually train a wiener dog to ride a tricycle, or was it just a little kid with a really good mask?

Please let me know when I should schedule my flight to Cameroon. Which airport should I fly into? Would you be able to arrange for someone to meet me at the airport? Please tell me more about your time doing voice-over work. Did you get to meet any big name celebrities? And please, please, please tell me more about Officer McWiener. My friend Randy thinks that it’s a real wiener dog, but I figure it’s got to be just a kid with a mask.

Looking forward to your response.

As it turns out, I might have gone a little overboard with that story. I actually had to call Chief Simon on the phone to reel him back in. But after a brief discussion, the contract was back on track.

Attn: Brent Curry,

Thanks for your call last Friday.

Like I told you that I would like to talk with you on phone as I have been busy traveling and doing many things, it not be easy for me writing mails all the time.

The tender of this bid will be released on the 3rd of November 2009 and you have to do everything possible to have your company registered before then that will guarantee your chance of winning this contract. Below are the contact of a good lawyer who specialize in company registration, in no occasion must he know that you got his contact through me, tell him that you got his contact through one Cameroonian living in Canada this is to avoid scandal or any petition after you have won this contract.

Let me know what you discourse with him.

Kwella Samson(Barrister/Solicitor)
KWELLA CHAMBER.
66 Avenue Lonkam, B.P.4008 Bafoussam.
Region de L’Ouest, Cameroun
Fax: 00237 3302 7915
Tel: +237 942 943 85
E-mail: kwellacham@hotmail.co.uk

I wait for you feedback soon.

Regards,
Chief Achu.

So I now had another e-mail address to correspond with. Although I suspected that it might actually be the same slippery character controlling both accounts.

Hello Kwella Samson,

I got your contact info through a Cameroonian living in Canada. I am bidding on a contract that will be decided on November 3rd, but to win the contract, my company must be registered in Cameroon. Would you be able to assist with this process?

By the way, as someone living in Cameroon, have you seen the movie Air Bud 6? I believe that one of Cameroon’s former Prime Ministers did some voice-over work in this movie. I imagine if enough Cameroonians knew about this, there would be a lot of interest in the film in Cameroon.

Looking forward to your response.

Of course, I wanted to stay in touch with Chief Simon as well.

Hello Chief Simon,

Thank you very much for passing on the contact info for the lawyer. I have e-mailed them about getting the ball rolling on registering my business in Cameroon.

In the meantime, I have some bad news about that gift I had tried to arrange for you. I won the eBay auction on that tricycle and had it sent out for gold plating. What I didn’t realize was that there were a large number of plastic components on that bike. The extreme heat of the gold plating process ended up melting the tricycle into a molten heap of plastic goo. The whole thing is destroyed. It is practically worthless except for the 200 grams of gold that is melted into the blob.

The goldsmith told me that there was about $7000 worth of gold mixed in with the plastic, but the whole thing just smelled so bad, and I was so heartbroken to see what had become of my prize tricycle that I just told him to keep it.

I’m still trying to think of the perfect gift to bring you when I visit you in Cameroon. Is there anything that you or your village could use?

Looking forward to finalizing this deal.

Meanwhile, I heard back from Kwella on the same day.

Dear Sir,

Thanks for consulting KWELLA CHAM.

We are sorry we don’t know much about movies.

Regards your request about registering your company in Cameroon, we will like to confirm to you that you made the right choice in contacting us, we have been operating in this direction for about 11 year and we have the best contact in Cameroon in terms of fast arrangement…. It was actually a pretty long winded e-mail filled with a lot of legal mumbo jumbo. I’m just going to jump ahead to the most important part…
10) 65,000frs CFA (100 Eur equivalent) for stamp duty.
11) 300 Euro for our administrative fee and we will deliver the work in two weeks time.

We are sorry our website is still under construction but we will send it over to you as soon as it is ready.

Thanks,
Kwella Samson(Barrister/Solicitor)
(Senior Managing Partner)
KWELLA CHAM.
66 Avenue Lonkam, B.P.4008 Bafoussam.
Region de L’Ouest, Cameroun
Tel: +237 942 943 85
Fax +237 330 279 15
E-mail: kwellacham@hotmail.co.uk

For the exciting conclusion to my adventures with a Cameroonian spammer, stay tuned for Part 5!

Continued from part 2… On Thursday, October 1, 2009 I received the following response to my Treadmill Bike Bonus Package proposal.

Attn: Brent,

I have been trying to reach you on phone but I alway send to answering machine. I couldn’t be able to write to you because I was too busy, please it will be my pleasure to have your direct phone no that I can contact you and time to call you. You can contact me on my private phone no +237 766 306 90 from 08:00 to 20:00 GMT from Monday to Saturday.

Also I want to thank you for your effort on working according to my plans. The package bonus is OK and the over invoice $63.24 USD per Treadmill Bike is accepted.

Now let me know how you are proceeding with the contract conditions concerning the registration of your company in Cameroon according to CAP 37 of OHADA Uniform Act.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
Chief Simon Ngwa Achu.

Hello Chief Simon!

Thanks for writing. I’m sorry my phone has been busy when you’ve been calling. I’ve been very busy securing delivery on those items for the bonus package. I had a little headache over the Peter Pan Getaway boots. It seems that all 50000 pairs were going to be ladies size 7.5. I figured that you’d want a better variety of sizes so I insisted that half of the boots come in men’s sizes. They went along with that, but refused to send me the breakdown of exact sizes they’d be shipping.

As for registering our company in Cameroon, I’ve been thinking about another exciting venture which would likely require the formation of a Cameroon based company anyway. The idea would be to lead tours of Waza National Park on a fleet of Couchbikes. I think there is a real market for this sort of active ecotourism and I’d be thrilled if you could help me realize this dream. I’m sure that there are a lot of regulations on business operations within the national parks, but as the former Prime Minister, I’m sure you’ll know all the people I’ll need to talk to to make this happen.

What I propose we do is form a Cameroon based company with the primary objective of offering fun, active tours of Waza National Park on pedal powered Couchbikes. Once we get that business up and running, we can import the Treadmill Bikes as a side venture, possibly in our down time during the rainy season.

I’ve put together a couple of posters to promote my new business idea. I’ve taken the liberty of including a couple of customer feedback quotes which I’ve attributed to you. I know that we haven’t actually started offering tours yet, but I think it’s important to give the impression that we are experienced and know what we are doing.

I know we’ve got a lot of work to do, but I look to you for guidance on many of the administrative procedures. Let me know your thoughts.

Of course, these Couchbiking among elephants photos never happened. The couchbiking pictures were taken during Boaz Frankel’s Un-Road Trip visit that summer.

For Chief Simon’s response to my Couchbike tour proposal, stay tuned for Part 4.

Continued from part 1… On Monday, September 28, 2009 I received the following response to my proposal.

Dear Brent Curry,

I hope you enjoyed your weekend.

After our meeting this morning, the committee were so happy about your product and we will be happy to see you handle this contract.

Now I will like to know your price per Treadmill Bike also I want you to know that this contract is lot one of ten meaning that it will continue till lot ten, if you happen to win this contract you will have the opportunity of winning the rest.

And your chances of winning this contract is to work according to my proposal, Like I said I am the chairman of this contract award committee, just to say that I have the authority to award the contract to any supplier/company that I considered creditable.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,
Chief Simon Ngwa Achu

To this, I responded:

Wow! That’s great news. I understand that you are ultimately looking to acquire 50000 bikes, so if we divide this into 10 lots, I would suggest 5000 bikes per lot. My typical price per Treadmill Bike is $2500 Canadian. For 5000 bikes, that would be 12.5 million Canadian dollars, or 5.1 billion Communauté Financière Africaine Francs. Which currency would you like to pay with?

Let me know how we should proceed.

Attn: Brent,

Thanks for your prompt reply.

Please I want you to give me the price in US$ because the committee will like to pay in United State Dollar also I want you to know that the lot one of this contract is 50,000 bikes.

Let me know if you are the one to sign this contract that will enable us discourse in person concerning the remaining lots.

Regards,
Chief Achu

Oh my goodness! So if we win the contract for all ten lots, we could be selling 500 000 Treadmill Bikes? That’s fantastic news! The price per Treadmill Bike in US dollars is: $2288.

Yes, I am the one who would sign the contract for this deal.

Looking forward to further instruction.

At this point, I had not mentioned to my wife that I had passed on our phone number to Chief Simon. Therefore, you can imagine her surprise when the phone rang the next morning at 6am. On the other end, was a man with a thick accent claiming to be the former prime minister of Cameroon! We had a brief conversation. Chief Simon’s main objective seemed to be to speak with me in person to confirm that we were ready to take this deal to the next level. I assured him that I was and hoped that we could return to e-mail correspondence in the future. For the rest of the week, I made a point of unplugging our phone before going to bed. In the ensuing days our voicemail registered numerous missed calls left in the middle of the night. I wasn’t sure if my new business associate didn’t understand the concept of time zones, or if they were just a non-issue for the political super-elite.

The e-mails continued…

Attn; Brent Curry,

It was great talking with you this morning.

I am happy to deal directly with you as it is my intention to treat directly with someone that has power to make decision, to enable us quickly finalize in the arrangement.

This supply is a government contract sponsored by the CPDM Cameroon.

I am contacting you in this business at this level on personal basis because I want to make personal profit out of the contract.

Concerning the specification/model of the treadmill bike; I confirm that the model you presented is good and we are ready to work with it.

Like I said during our telephone conversation, the first lot of this contract will be 10,000 pieces of Treadmill Bikes. My plan is that you will give me a Treadmill Bikes at the rate of $2280 and when submitting your tender it will bear $2380 and after the contract has been awarded to you and you received the payment for the supply, you would return to me the additional money of $100 per Treadmill Bike.

I believe I have made things clear to you.

Apart from quantity, quality and duration; there are other conditions set out by the award committees that every supplier wishing to tender has to fulfill in order to qualify to tender.

The award Committee has decided that any company wishing to participate in this tender must be registered in Cameroon according to CAP 37 of OHADA Uniform Act, and the company must have been in existence for at least one year.

The payment terms is optional; the first option is, if the company attached to her bid an attestation worth 30% of the contract value from any Cameroon financial institution; the company will receive 100% payment up front immediately the contract is signed. Another option is, if the company chooses to tender without an attestation; the company will supply the goods before receiving any payment.

If we agreed to continue in this project, My part is to assist by making the payment condition easier for you. Since I am the one that contacted you in this business and due to you may not have any contact with a financial institution in Cameroon; I would provide you money worth 30% of the contract value to obtain the attestation from any Cameroon bank. But if you chooses to supply according to the second option; I would as well provide you money to handle the supply and when you received payment you return to me the money and the over-invoicing.

Due to my position as a politician in administrative post and the Chairman of this contract award committee, I am not permitted to operate personal business. Your part in this business is to register your company and submit your tender to avoid anybody knowing that I am having personal relationship with you; then I would award you the contract.

Like I said I am the chairman of this contract award committee, just to say that I have the authority to award the contract to any supplier/company that I considered creditable. Please I would like that you consider this transaction absolute confidential.

You can give me a call on this telephone no +237 766 306 90 at any time . I wait for your prompt reply.

Regards,
Chief Simon Ngwa Achu.
The CPDM Congress Hall
P.O. Box 150 Bamenda, N/W Region,
Rep of Cameroon ,
Tel: +237 766 306 90
E-mail:chiefachu@gmail.com

Hello Chief Simon,

I think I have discovered a potential hole in this plan. The Treadmill Bike is already advertised on my web site for $2500 Canadian. Anyone could do a quick currency exchange calculation and determine that that price translates to $2288 USD. When the awards committee sees that I am billing them at: $2380 per Treadmill Bike, they will get suspicious.

To reconcile this issue, I have put together a bonus package that we could include with each Treadmill Bike. I have managed to negotiate a bulk discount on these items, so I expect the actual cost of each bonus package will be $28.76 USD. This would bring the total cost for each treadmill bike to $2316.76 USD. If we charged $2380 USD per Treadmill Bike that would still leave you with a personal profit of $63.24 USD per Treadmill Bike.

I think you will really love the items that I have found for the Treadmill Bike Bonus Package. They include the following:
1 X-Wing Fighter Collectible Helmet
1 pair of Harry Potter Quidditch Goggles
1 Hello Kitty Backpack
1 pair of Peter Pan Getaway Boots
1 plastic Bicycle Basket with Plastic Daisies
1 pair of Handlebar Streamers

I have modified the promotional poster to depict the additional items that would be included with each Treadmill Bike.

Let me know your thoughts.

For Chief Simon’s response to the Bonus Package Proposal, stay tuned for Part 3!

In May of 2009, I received the following e-mail:

Attn: Director,

My name is Chief. Simon Ngwa Achu. former Prime Minister of the Republic of Cameroon.
I came across your profile as I was searching for a competent and reliable supplier/manufacturer who can handle a contract supply of Comfort Bicycle, and I learned that your company is into such business.
Regarding the contract, this is a contract supply of 50,000 pieces of Comfort Bicycle to the CPDM as an effort to reduce the global warming threat. This contract is sponsored by the Cameroon People’s Democratic Movement (CPDM). The duration of the contract is 14 months (Fourteen months) from the date of acceptance.

The specification is as follows:
Frame: 20” inch frame
Fork: 700C CS9217 Steel
Headset: VP-H692W
Stem: HL-Alloy Adjustable Ext 110mm
Handlebars: MTB -155 620mm x 50mm Rise, Steel
Grips: Velo VLG-185AD2 Black Rubber Gel
Brakes: Promax TX-107L Front & Rear Alloy Linear Black
Brake Levers: : Shimano STEF 50 Alloy
Front Derailleur: Shimano TZ-31
Rear Derailleur: Shimano TX-30
Shift Levers: Shimano ST-EF50 21 Speed Rapid Fire
Freewheel: Falcon FW-70 14-28T Index UCP
Chain: KMC Z51
Crankset: 28Tx38T x48Tx170mm Silver Alloy
Bottom Bracket: YST BB-612 UCP
Pedals: VP 990S Plastic Body
Wheels: High V Profile 700C Alloy Silver w/ Front Quick Release
Tires: Kenda 700 x 40C Black w/ White line on Both Sides
Saddle: Velo VL-3061 B93 w/ Silver Bumper
Seat Post: SP-233 300mm Alloy Silver

I am the Chairman of this Contract Award Committee and I have the authority to award this contract to any reliable supplier/manufacturer that fulfills the contract conditions.
I am contacting you in this business on personal basic because I am interested to make personal profit out of the contract. I would like to know from you about these three things mentioned below.

1) I want to know if you will be interested in this contract.
2) If you will be able to handle the supply within the time frame.
3) I want to know if you will be interested to co-operate with me in
over-invoicing the total contract in my favor as I want to make a personal profit from this contract.
Let me know your response in the few questions then I will explain to you more about the contract and how we can proceed.

If you are interested, I will also like to have your direct contacts for easy communication.

Regards,
Chief Simon Ngwa Achu.
The CPDM Congress Hall
P.O. Box 150 Bamenda, N/W Prov,
Rep of Cameroon ,
Tel: +237 971 728 64
E-mail:chiefachu@gmail.com

This e-mail was strange for a number of reasons. First of all, a quick web search revealed that Cameroon has never had a prime minister named Simon Ngwa Achu. However, a man by the name of Simon Achidi Achu did serve as prime minister from 1992 to 1996. I figured if I’m about to make an internet fortune, who am I to let a little detail like a middle name stand in my way? Of course, the real Simon Achidi Achu was born November 5, 1934, which would make him 74 years old at the time of this correspondence. I really had to admire this old man’s vigour!

Another odd thing was the degree of specificity in every component that the CPDM is supposedly looking for in their global warming conquering comfort bikes. From the Falcon FW-70 14-28T freewheel to the Velo VL-3061 B93 saddle with Silver Bumper this was going to be one tricky bike to source. Or would it be? Another quick web search revealed one bike that matched these specifications exactly. It was the 21 Speed Women’s Tonino Lamborghini Urbano Trekking Comfort Bike pictured below.

Selling online for $199, this is your quintessential department store bike. And yes, in case you were wondering, Tonino Lamborghini is the son of the famous Italian industrialist, Ferruccio Lamborghini, creator of the world renowned Automobili Lamborghini. Sadly, this bicycle seems to be representative of the kind of cheap product Tonino is recklessly attaching the family name to these days. I’m sure Ferruccio is rolling over in his grave. But I digress.

Knowing that this was just a scam, I thought it would be interesting to see how Chief Simon would respond to a slightly different offer. Here’s what I wrote:

Hello Chief Simon!

Thank you very much for contacting me about this opportunity. As it turns out, I do not have the means of providing 50,000 comfort bicycles with those exact specifications. However, I have recently received a shipment of 23,000 Treadmill Bikes from my supplier in Taiwan. You can read more about the Treadmill Bike here. The Treadmill Bike has received rave reviews from urban cycling enthusiasts and has recently appeared on Canadian, US and Japanese television.

Because the treadmill bike is such a unique product, the price is higher than that of most comfort bicycles. The bike retails for $2500, but I would be willing to offer a substantial bulk discount so that you may achieve the personal profit that you surely deserve.

The best way to reach me is through this e-mail address. I’m very much looking forward to doing business with you. Let me know how we should proceed.

A few days later, I got this response:

Attn, Mr Brent Curry.

Thanks for your mail

I would like to use this opportunity and briefly introduce myself to you once again; my name is Chief Simon Ngwa Achu, I am the former prime minister of the republic of Cameroon also the chairman of this contract award committee.

This supply is a government contract sponsored by the CPDM Cameroon.

I am contacting you in this business at this level on personal bases because I want to make personal profit out of the contract. My plan is that after we have agreed on the price, I will tell you the amount you would add for me when submitting your tender and after the contract has been awarded to you and you received the payment for the supply, you would return to me the additional money.

There is no illegal formality in this contract as everything you would do concerning the contract will be legalized and according to the contract terms.

Due to my position as a politician in administrative post, I am not permitted to involve in any personal businesses, as it is against my oath of service. Anybody in my position will as well utilize this kind of opportunity; it is possible for me to ask money from any company that want me to award her the contract but I considered it none confidential as I would not like anybody to take advantage of me in future.

The reason I chooses to work with you is not because there are no company in Cameroon that can handle the supply, but due to I do not want any Cameroonian to know anything about my transactions to avoid anything that would sabotage my office; in this regards I would appreciate that everything we discussed or might do in future must remain absolute confidential.

Concerning the specification/model, I want you to understand that I am a politician and do not know much about Bicycle; I can confirm any model you presented as long as the product is good and you are ready to work with
me according to my proposal.

Like I said I am the chairman of this contract award committee, just to say that I have the authority to award the contract to any supplier/company that I considered creditable.

Apart from quantity, quality and duration; there are other conditions set out by the award committees that every supplier wishing to tender has to fulfill in order to qualify to tender.

The award Committees has decided that any company wishing to participate in this tender must be registered as a CPDM contractor; and the company must have been registered with the CPDM for at least one year.

The company must attach to her bid an attestation worth 30% of the contract value from any Cameroon financial institution.

The payment term is 50% advance payment immediately the contract is signed and the balance will be covered by L/C certified by any first class bank of your choice in the world.

Another option is that the company may choose to supply half of the goods before receiving any payment; in this case an attestation from financial institution is not required.

I want you to understand that these conditions are not a problem as I have plans to provide money to sponsor the contract if we agreed to work. Since I do not want anybody to know my transaction with you; the part you would play in this business is either you register your company with the CPDM or contact any existing company with the CPDM to handle the contract with you. But in the case of using an existing company you must make sure that in no circumstance that you should let anybody know that I am working with you.

I would like that you study this proposal very well and get back to me.

Regards,
Chief Simon Ngwa Achu.
The CPDM Congress Hall
P.O. Box 150 Bamenda, N/W Prov,
Rep of Cameroon ,
Tel: +237 971 728 64
E-mail:chiefachu@gmail.com

This was getting exciting! I had a foot in the door with the CPDM, but at the same time, I knew there would be lots of other companies bidding on this prestigious comfort bike contract, so I made sure to include a nice visual in my next e-mail.

Hello Chief Simon,

I’m sorry for the delayed response. I have been working hard to put together an eye-catching presentation for the awards committee. I’ve attached an image which will hopefully inspire the CPDM to select the Treadmill Bike for their comfort bicycle contract. I firmly believe that the simple, elegant design of the Treadmill Bike is the perfect
fit for the diverse environment of Cameroon.

Could you please put me in touch with the people who will be deciding on this contract? There is lots more I could say about the competitive price, comfort and performance of the Treadmill Bike.

Stay tuned for Chief Simon’s response to my proposal in part 2!